A giving heart. The sequel to: 

Why I'm broke. 

You don't have to give. You can take too. But taking what you give is best. 

Don't take from another man. I remember sitting outside in my truck. Near the smart and final, near the church. Like I lived there. Like I knew the neighborhood. I didn't. I don't know what I was thinking. Thinking with my pee pee and not my meemee. 

You mind has a name. If you know it or not, that's nother story. I like to write. Can I turn it into bread? If you just hear me out, put a few pictures, and listen, I'm sure you'll agree, it's worth your time. If you can see it on a phone, you can see it on your desktop. 

Sucking and licking is good. You like to be sucked on. You like to get head. That's the ultimate. It makes you feel so good. Getting head. Getting your dick sucked. That's the best. But where is her nut? She needs one too. Making love to her is her nut. Be good at making love to her. Be good and giving her pleasure. 

You are good at earning pennies. Good. But why do you tarry in heat? You don't know why your mother wants to control you. You don't know why she wants to fight who you are. I don't know, but she's still your mother. You don't need to evade your mother. Simply talk about it. 

This is better than weed. But you can smoke weed anywhere. Just make sure you have an outlet. Early in the moring is a good thing. Not late at night, where there are people and times. People acting out and doing things, you need to be away from them smoking. This is because you smooke so fast. 

Buty smoking is a trivial thing. 

I don't see the allure of smoking all the time. Some of the time is good.

Earning is based on 12 tenets. 

If you get these 12 in your mind, you'll earn all the time. Here they are. 

Lesson 1: Don't eat the pirate. 

You don't have a lot of time. When you get new ideas, flush them down. Put some good ol' water on them. When you walk up these stairs, remember why you are able. You were given a choice, and mercy. God Gave you this. You don't ruin this chance by every little thing. I could have died several times. I did not. I lived.

When you start earning like you don't have any sense, like you are totally immesed for 90 minutes, an hour and a half. You sit there and earn for an hour and a half. It's going to be brutal until you learn to stop brutalizing payment. 

Can you just earn without ceasing? How long can you last? 5 minutes? Ten minutes. If you can't last that long earing, how long can you last enjoying? When you want a lot, you'll get a lot. But you need to get the basicsa right. The basics have been given to you, soso don't waste them. 

I have a tendency to start things up and leaven them. I used to do this as a child. I still do that at 34. This is not good or bad. It's just what it is. It is what it is. But keep in mind, you are not obligated to keep putting up with other people's bullstuff. They have a right to live, and so do you. They don't get to tell you when to come and go. You have to decide how to do this on your own. 

Take your wisdom with you. Provervs 28 is today. Proverbs 28. You have a few words there. Let me have some of them here: 

Proverbs 28:2 (KJV)  For the transgression of a land many are the princes thereof: but by a man of understanding and knowledge the state thereof shall be prolonged.

So it says there having knowledge a your life will be prolonged. You'll live a long time, having knowledge. So the knowledge of earning is what we want. 

How do I earn? 

Now, how do you earn? Can you earnm a little bit at a time? 

Can you earn a little bit? Can you earn 5 cents at a time, and stop. Earn 5 cents and stop for 1 minute. So every 20 times, you have a dollar. How many times can you complete this? You earn 5 cents on one, then stop. Go to another one. Earn from two on there, and stop. Go to another one. Earn 2 on there, and stop. Pause for one minute. Then start over again. 

You need to work in sets of 3. Do one set of 5, then another set of two, then another set of two. Log the results. 

Keep earning like you are grateful and depended on. You need to know each person is depending on you to come up with 40 dollars. Give yourself time to make $40, then come buy a few things. 40 dollars is enough to feed children. Make sure you make at least $40, because then you know you are earning. If you are making less, then something is missing. 

What is probably missing is the will to live. If life is hard, you don't want to live. You want to die, to go to something easier. You don't need to die. You can live. Living is better than dying. Don't let anyone tell you alive about dying. Death is not fun for you. Death is the end. You don't need to end. 

You need to begin. When you begin, pray first. I made the mistake. I used to jump into work and not pray. Why? Little faith. 

When you work, don't stop until you reach a goal. Make the goal small, and achievable. 

If you have a modest goal of 1 dollar, find the scummiest way online to earn the dollar. 100 pennies. This is the bottom scrape at it's finest. All the adsense in the world is better than 100 pennies. But it ought to be your first dollar of the day. How long will it take you to make 100 pennies? That's crazy, it may take a while. But stay on it consistent, and you'll make all 100 pennies. If you make 12 dollars a day, you're doing something. 

I think you need to scour the net for more earning powers. Put a list together of the ones that work for you. 

Then pick ten of them, each to earn just 10 dollars for you, and pick a plan. 

You need to earn 10 from each, so hover over each every hour. Eat Turkey rice. Better than spaghetti, which is not today but tomorrow. Go to the store and collect some money, and also some food items. You need to love Brenda once a minute. 

You need to love her all the time. 

I remember she told me she loved me. I didn't say anything back. I was a fool. 

Wow Lord, I really lost it. For a long time. I need to earn more. I don't know what my problem is. I need water, food and love. 

Turkewy rice needs to be made. I need food so I can think and work at the same time. 

Eat much rice. Eat rice and meat. Eat so you can live. 

You're like aimless. 

Can you aim, for now?

My neck has a crook in it. What shall I do about this? 


Thank you. 

If you Love The Lord, then you have to ask your mother to forgive you. 

I know I've done some things bad, and I ask you to forgive me. But I also ask you, to stop holding in hatred for things I've done. You are a very spiteful human being and I don't like interacting with you for long at times. 

You have a way of finding fault in me. You are looking for problems all the time. You are not my solution, Moma. The Lord Is my solution. When I talk to you, it's like you're trying to trap me, trying to control my life. You want me to be something some one else. You want to force me, or tell me what to do. And I'm not having it anymore. There is a virus killing folks, and you want to tell me what to do with my time. I don't have to listen to that any more. I'm out here risking my life, and you get to say what I can and cannot do? No more. I respect you, I love you. But you are not going to tell me what my life is all about. You have done your job and a fine one at that, but I'm not your lover, your man, your friend, I'm your son. I'm not going to take care of you if I can't take care of myself. I'm 34 and you're trying to instill in me how to look after you. I don't have a family yet and you're trying to tell me to settle down so I can tend to you. How dare you. 

You're trying to stop my progress, to prohibit me. You're going to stop doing that. God Is not mocked. I don't have all of what I can do because you jumped in the way. I have it because God Gave it to me. The Lord Provided for me, when you kicked me out. And you have the nerve to try to stop me from going on anyway. How dare you. You don't even have to heart to let it alone after you put me out. I'm not obligated to you for anything. I was put out in the street, and I need to get together my affairs before I tend to anyone else's. 

I can help, but I'm not the help. Ok. 

I'll come by once a month. You're not going to tell me to put my life on hold, for you to have something to do. You don't need to run me or anything like that. The Lord Has my back. Every time you turn around, something is wrong. Something is out of place. Something needs to be fixed. You are a very needy mother. Why? This is about me, my life. Your life is about you. I have a path made out for me. You don't get to tell me what to do any more. You tell me what is right, and what I ought to do. But not what I'm gon' do. I'm sick of it.

Sending me bizarre ass pictures of you in the bed and all that I don't want all that, Moma. You stop doing things like that. You need to have some decency about yourself. I am not your man. I don't ever want to see that again. 

You do things like this for attention. You're not a mental patient. You need to have more self esteem than that. You have a little self esteem and a lot of spitefulness at life. You don't even like who you are. You're on TV, the paper, on the news or in concerts, and you still aren't satisfied. You don't even know what you want, and you're still trying to get what you don't know you want. You are looking for a scapegoat. I'm not it. You don't respect me, you don't respect your self, but you sing about respect. You need The Lord every step of the way. You've gone too far with these pictures. You are not going to hang your career on my back and tell me what I need to be doing so you can have something. 

The Lord is with me on this. You aren't going to bogard me into behavior. And if she says something to me about it, then I'll tell her. I'm not comfortable with how you come at me. You need to let The Lord Do His Job, and stop trying to fill in. I remember the old blue house. I played in that house. I didn't seem to always have money problems. Money became an issue many years ago. When I was 15 I remember playing parasite eve, being afraid of growing up. Why? Because seeds were planted. 

I think it's Tracy. First of all. I think so, because I broke her window. But a mother's instinct would tell her to stop. She'd know that the window could not replace a child. She'd know you don't need to be petty like that. She'd know that the wages of sin is...

I don't know this neighbor to Church. They really believe...Ok. 

This world Lord. They don't believe in you. They believe in fables and lies. They want what you have, without paying respect. They want respect, but have none to give. 

Now why would a red woman be in Bellflower? 

A story untold it will be, unless the blue will help her.