I used to be mad, but now not anymore. I"m not mad. I am not mad at people trying to come up off me. I just know better now. When people want something from you but don't want to respect you, then you have a criminal on your hands. You may not want to hear this, but it is so. Those people are users and should get back some kind of warning for their mistake. Still, it is not for me to condemn them. If it were me, would I want to be condemned? No, of course not. I think the better part of the answer is to appreciate the good tings about what is being done. 10 pushups every 5 minutes means 120 pusups an houe. At the end of the day, you will have done 120 pushups an hour for however many hours. You then can do the math on how may you want to hit a day. I can't stand bitter people. They make the dirt shine. Why do they have to be like that? Can't they just be black and stay cool? I don't know why they gotta try to cause trouble any way. There's something else for them to do. I miss Brenda, but I haven't seen her in a while. The people gave up on her and are now trying to break it up. These people truly believe Heaven Awaits them. I doubt it. You can't try to stop anyone. The Bible tells you this. In Psalm 1, it says not to stand int the way. Psalm one tells you not to stand in the way of sinners nor sittteth in the seat of the scornful. You're not playing, you really mean it. If you had your way, you'd be rude, crude, and unruly. You'd raise your voice, throw a tantrum, threaten to kick me out, all that. You'd do it, if no one stood up to you, or your antics. So I don't trsut you. All this quiet, it's a set up. Trying to get me to smoke only one blunt a day. I said I'd do it like that. Yet, what does that have to do with you? You don't see it or smell it. You're meddling and it's interfering with your meddling. You can't meddlie like you'd like to, I suspect. So what. When did you get the idea you could or would be allowed to? Who are you? You believe you're better than ,me? You come to my land and are better than me? Stop kiiding yourself today. You're a guest here. You will remain a guest until The Lord says otherwise. Coming in on the last 10 years of a Church History, when they've been here for 50 years, you're not going to inherit the Church. You can hang that one up. If you geared up to fight for that right, then study the rats and roaches. They didn't make it doing that way. They were ushered out, and, if need be, so will you be. The attitude Lord these people need to have is gratitude and diligence. Spend each day truly working on something valuable. Not to yourself, but to The Lord. Reach out to people. Pray. Read the word. Write about what you've read. I told these people something 5 years ago. Had they listened, they'd have a fortune now. Instead of listening, they decided I was not on their level, and missed it. I'm sure The Lord Forgives them. Yet, you have to spend each day working toward a goal. I don't have much space in the room I am in, so I have to be diligent and working. I find this is a better life lived where you have some kind of action going each day to help you and to make right your wrongs. Staying busy simply means working without supervision. No one is going to push you to work. You need to push yourself. Ask The Lord To Push you. Make you go to work. Give you the reason to work. He Could. Does He Have To, is what I'm saying. I never met such sneaky slimy people. They have the look, and the sobriety of good people. I'm willing to believe they are. However, the gestures and the intentions behind theire behaviour is sad. I wish I could say they are innnocent people. However, they aren't. Anyone who arranges dissent among brethren is a disgrace. If you want people to be doing bad while you do good, this is wrong. When you want people to do like you are doing, that's natural. What a person. They don't want it, but want to give it to you. Sad. During this time also. What a special bunch. Don't have nothing to say. Your old man's wish is just that. It's a wish. You aren't going to take the wish from other men, I can tell you that. Not people who worked hard to make it happen, and you just step up. I can't believe you're thinking like that at all. When did these people geet the idea. You know it's wrong. I know you weren't there all those years. What makes you believe? I don't think God Is Telling you. You are forcing your way. Your force is not respected universally. Some people seem to support you, and others, like me, see the results up close. If you are rude to one, then you are not fit to lead. Rudeness is not a quality of leadershiip. There are no rude leaders. Those people then are not lleaders yet. A leader is encouraging, stimulating, motivating and kind. A leader is kind. When you are not kind, you are a manager. You have not yet the skill to lead. You will set the stage, the groundwork for real leadership to occur. Yet, when you are rude, you diffuse the consequence into a rebuttal. People want to stroke back at your rudeness. When people are strking back, where is the leadership? Where is the help? Are you getting help? Are you helping anyone?? No. You're just trying to get your way. So the whole procedure then is a front. Once you get your way, you'll be no helpp to anyone. I don't ujiguiyhuighiuiu I don't think this is wholly true in life. Yet, I believe the effort to gain something not earned is a scathe to any man. When you didn't earn it, it's not yours even if you get it. Say I stole a car. It's not ever going to be my car. I can change the paint. I can get nnew wheels. Stoll not my car. My stolen car, is as fas as you can get. I remember sitting in class. I remember siitting in that office. Feeling like I'd never finish school. I was so used to not completing anything. I am glad I finally got something done. I did finish school to get my AA. I need to pay the debt off. I owe some thousands to school. If I get it all paid off, then I can start a new llife with a degree. I can get a better job, be qualified for it, and do the right thing. I think if I go back to scchool, I can get a better job. A bettter job means more pay. $1500 a week. That's good eating there. If I spend no more than half of that, be smart, do my taxes, and educate myself on how to do better than that, then I'll have some money for real. I am tired. I want my mother to be happy. I want her to stopp trying to take or get my money. If I hae ten, why do you want any? If I have a little, let me have a little then. Don't try to take it from me. That's not right. Let me get my grip together. When you get your little grip, spend some time figuring out how you can nmake it more. I want to serve in a virtual way. I am online, giving informationo out in small doses. You eat what you can a little. Then you go ahead and follow what I said to do. Whenn you listen, you learn, and earn money also. Earn $100 a day.. I have a way you may earnn this. It is hard, but worth it if you have no other way. Piece together 10 survey sites, and set a timer for each onne. If you have ten, and commit to working just one hour with each, you could make up to $10 an hour. Then, you work for 10 horas, and get your 100. When you get the money, stack it up to 6, and cash out at the store, the bank, or an ATM. Either way, get your money.. I have a referral link here. You get .75 cents to join too. My mother can do better than watching me or my money. It's not hers. .She dones't have to be a super hero. She doens't have to get all in my head. She doens't have to try to nickel and dime me. She doesn't have to include me in her expenses. She needs to take care of herself, I need to take care of myself. If she can just let me grow up, have the things I need, I'll be doing better. These people are theives man. Just little thieves. At least God Loves them. I wonder how they make it this far. They ride me and profit from it. Then,, ,they try to say it was them. .Does this make thier parents proud? They'd like to have the world believe it was them. Them whom The Lord Blessed. Them who carry the spirit. No spirt dwells in them but a hate from years of this kind of behaviour. How can you be so rude, and call yourself the Church? You are not the church. You are a child playiing Church, trying to get ahead by getting over. Is this what God Intended? The peace here is because of me. The Lord Blessed me. So there is peace so many are sucking from. I don't know how, but that's the way it is. Still, I think you need to recognize The Lord and get with Him. Don't ride mine and call it yours. It's not yours. You cannot steal it. You cannot be rude and get it. You have to earn your own. That's the lesson I teach. Earn your own. Clean up your own mess.